Teens
wants to know more about condoms and pills
Dear Tricia,
I am a 16 year-old female student who attends high school. I
was very involved in a relationship and I truly loved this person.
We shared so much and every moment with each other seemed to
be a dream for the both of us. He never loved a girl as much
as he loved me. Around the time when we were getting serious
(physically and emotionally) we started thinking about sex.
I know that this was an experience that was new and exciting
for us - unexplored territory. However, no matter how much we
both wanted it and no matter how close we got I couldn't.
I am concerned about two things. First, I find myself questioning
sex because I have a fear of becoming pregnant. I know condoms
should keep me safe from sexually transmitted diseases but I
am still worried. What about the pill and a condom? Will that
definitely ensure that nothing could happen? The other thing
is we have broken up now and it's been a year and I can't get
over him. I have told him my feeling and it seems to me he still
has this connection to me. He cried on the phone when I told
him how stupid I was for dumping him.
Tricia, should I give him time? Do you think he'll let me have
his heart again?
Concerned Teen, St. Andrew Dear Concerned Teen,
If you aren't interested in having sex - truly in love, feeling
safe, needing to express that love and commitment physically,
then don't have sex.
It is not a game and definitely should not be used by young
ladies as a tool to try to hang onto some knucklehead teenage,
hormone-engorged boy. You couldn't do it because you weren't
ready yet. It is a wise girl who considers the issues you
raise before getting intimately involved with him or anyone
else.
Before you engage in sex, please pay a visit to your local
Family Planning Clinic and get reading materials on preventing
pregnancy, preventing disease, free condoms, and a review
of how to use them and other barrier birth control.
I would also like to encourage you to practise abstinence.
You are still very young have many more years ahead of you
to get sexually involved. When you reach that cross roads
of your life you will be better able to distinguish real love
from flirting.
Can't forget girl who ditched him
Dear Tricia,
My girlfriend and I have known each other for three years
and recently started to date. She told me that she loved me
and I didn't tell her back or tell her how I felt about her.
I didn't know then, but I know now. I told her I loved her
about four weeks ago.
Now she is telling me she wants to be friends and doesn't
want a relationship with me.
I am 16 years old and she is also. I need her and can't stop
thinking about her.
What's wrong with her and why does she reject me/us?
So In Love, St. Catherine
Dear So In Love,
Teen life is the most confusing and problematic when it comes
on to relationships. As I have said to the girls, wait until
you become an adult and mature enough to distinguish between
love and flirt. The same thing goes for boys.
This girl may have felt some affection for you, after all
have known each other for several years. The feelings she
has for you could be one of brotherly love and you are reading
into her wrongly.
But for whatever reason she has decided that a romantic relationship
with you is not in the cards. Maybe she's looking for something
else and you are not able to give it to her.
Never want or love someone more than you value yourself. It
will only set you up for supreme drama and heartache. There
are so many things that you can do with your life instead
of chasing after someone who doesn't want to have a relationship
or be friends with you.
Leave this girl to find the 'someone' of her dreams who will
satisfy her. What is the rush about? You are still young and
will find the real girl of your dreams when the time comes.
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